Redefining Success: Letting Go of Comparison & Succeeding on Your Own Terms
Introduction
When we look at life, we often only think about what we have accomplished and what we will achieve in the future. For many of us, life is about what we win. When we measure our lives by milestones, we begin to measure other people's lives the same way. Maybe you got VP, but your neighbor just got CEO. Perhaps you got an A-, and your classmate got an A. Comparing yourself to others undermines your successes. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations for yourself, but those expectations have to come from within, not from someone else's life. To truly find your own success, you have to let go of comparison and define achievement for yourself.
Social Media
Social media has given us access to everyone's life, to an extent. We choose what we want to post online: winning a scholarship, receiving an award, getting our hair done, buying new clothes, etc. Social media gives people constant visibility into people’s idealistic digital lives. Technology gives users the power to fully control their narratives, so they will only show the perfect parts. As we scroll in bed, we start to think about our own lives: Why isn’t my hair done? Why am I not on vacation too? Why do I not have new clothes? The mental impact of scrolling through constant “perfection” can cause self-doubt, anxiety, body dysmorphic disorders, insecurity, etc. True success isn't found by keeping up online, but in choosing expectations that align with your life’s goals, values, and needs.
Succeeding on Your Own Terms
Define what success looks like for you and only you. Remember: success is based on aligning your goals and values. For example, prioritize healing, mental strength, etc., and this will help guide you toward the written-down goals you want to accomplish. And sometimes the path you have been working for shifts, that doesn't mean you are a failure, it means that your life is changing along with you. Embrace the different paths you are introduced to. Success isn't about following one thing your whole life; it's about adapting and growing into success, maturity, and adulthood.
Reflect
Think about these questions:
How has comparison shaped your definition of success?
What parts of my life am I overlooking because they don’t look impressive online?
How do I feel after scrolling on social media—motivated, anxious, insecure, or inspired?
Conclusion – Redefining Success
Success doesn't mean just one thing; people value and define it differently in their lives. However, in a world shaped by social media, we tend to measure our lives based on what we see online. Curated online lives create unrealistic expectations that undermine and distract us from the importance of growth through learning and mistakes. Success should be based on your personal values and needs. Alignment and self-security are more important than someone else's validation because, at the end of the day, you are the only one in control of yourself. You have made goals for yourself, trust that you can reach them, even when it is hard. Trust your timeline and your process. Growth looks and feels different for everyone, and you are exactly where you need to be—on the journey of growth and fulfillment. Success is allowed to look any way you need it to because you define what success means for yourself.
