Hair Tales Part One: Real Hair Stories by Real Women
Modupe Akinola
Section 1: Early Memories
Modupe Akinola grew up in a West African household. At a young age, she rocked cornrows and African plaits. Going to school, her hair was often the center of attention. Her uniqueness brought her pride and anxiety. Growing up, Modupe had her hair permed. Those chemicals, which molded her hair to fit the European standard, made her happy and gave her a sense of belonging. Her first experience of hair trauma was only in the fourth grade, when the perm destroyed her hair. In high school, she received another perm. In twelfth grade, she got box braids for the first time. She would pretend that the long braids trailing down her back were her real hair, as she wished for her hair to fall down her back instead of sitting up on her head. As she grew older, she started to develop a closer relationship with her hair and appreciated what it gave her.
Section 2: The Journey Begins
During Modupe’s junior year, her sister started her hair journey. She felt inspired watching her sister proudly embrace her natural hair. So she took the chance and got a big chop. Her family was disappointed and encouraged her to get a perm to remove the curls from her head, but she refused and instead embraced the natural beauty of her hair. In her senior year of college, she took the first step toward finding her hair confidence and security. She decided to get locs, and thirty years later, her locs are still beautiful and healthy. She sought the right hairstyle that made her feel confident, attractive, and herself.
Section 3: Confidence, Identity & Healing
Modupe learned to embrace her natural beauty. She let her locs grow naturally without visiting a loctician for 15 years. Growing her hair herself gave her a sense of confidence and pride. Locs often symbolize self-awareness and respect; their versatility and beauty have boosted Ms. Akinola’s confidence in herself and her hair.
Section 4: Hair Care & Routine
Modupe visits the hairdresser every month and a half to have her locs twisted and styled. Every couple of days, she makes sure to oil her scalp, and, of course, she always keeps her edges laid. (Me too, Modupe!)
Section 5: Community & Culture
In Modupe’s personal and professional current life, she has embraced her locs without any negative comments. However, she reflected that when she had her natural afro, she was treated differently than now, even though both styles were natural.
Modupe is confident in herself and her hair; she doesn’t let anyone or anything dictate how she should wear her hair, while maintaining a professional image. But at the end of the day, when she gets home, she is just another black woman like us. People will try to judge you, but don’t let anyone change who you are.
Modupe’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
You're beautiful on the inside; no hair can change how you feel about yourself.
You must first love and trust yourself before embarking on your journey.
Surround yourself with support and with those who have had previous natural hair journeys.
Don't rule out locs!!
Work on changing deeply rooted stereotypes.
The health of your hair is always the most important.
Stop giving money to the hair industry and support mental health.
Don't let anyone tell you how your hair should look.
Amaya N
Section 1: Early Memories
Growing up, Amaya N’s life was filled with positivity about her hair from her friends and family. She always rocked braided looks with colorful beads. However, the media she would see would often make her feel as though her hair was “unmanageable and “too much”.
Section 2: The Journey Begins
Recently, Amaya has begun embracing and exploring her natural texture and trying out new styles. She has gained more confidence in the beauty and versatility of her hair. Now, as she goes into college, she is trying to break out of the routine and comfort of braids.
Section 3: Confidence, Identity & Healing
Amaya’s hair journey has helped improve her self-esteem. She has grown confidence and security in her hair. As she has become more comfortable with changing hairstyles, she has become increasingly confident. She has begun to stop worrying about others’ opinions, but instead focuses on learning and finding new ways to care for and embrace her hair. Her hair has helped her gain pride in knowing all the fantastic and unique ways she can style it. Her hair is free and unconfined.
Section 4: Hair Care and Routine
Amaya’s hair routine is understandably still a work in progress. (Just like me!) Every three weeks, she takes out her hairstyle and makes sure to detangle each part as she removes it. After detangling, she uses a wide-tooth comb to ensure all the knots are removed and her hair is fully and properly detangled. She uses ORS Olive Oil Shampoo and Conditioner when she washes her hair. She shampoos twice and conditions once. Before each rinse, she uses a wet brush to detangle and evenly distribute the product through her hair. After shampooing and conditioning, she blow-dries her hair and uses ORS Olive Oil Heat Protection Serum during the blow-drying process. (Maybe try ORS if you are looking for the right hair products for u!) She blow-dries her hair in four sections, applying the serum as she goes. After blow-drying, Amaya puts her hair in two braids and ties it up; now it’s ready for a new style!
Section 5: Community and Culture
Like many of us, Amaya has received negative comments about her hair, like “nappy” or “a lot”. When she receives compliments, she always feels happy and appreciated. However, you should always prioritize yourself because your opinion is always the most important. When it comes to criticism and/or curiosity, it must come from a place of respect. Sometimes people can be curious, and that's okay! However, they must be respectfully curious; there is nothing wrong with wanting to learn more about the subject.
Sometimes, when Amaya sees a new popular hairstyle that she likes, she will try it out. At other times, her hair is influenced by the versatility of the style or by her mother. She and her mother share similar views on hairstyles, so if she's unsure about how she wants to style her hair, she always has her mother to help her make a decision. Her mom’s input gives her confidence about her hair.
Amaya’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Give yourself grace throughout your hair journey; no one’s hair journey is the same, so be patient with yourself.
HannahMaria Dixie
Section 1: Hair & Early Memories
Growing up, HannahMaria always had her mom around to care for her hair. She washed, detangled, trimmed, and styled it in mini twists. She always received compliments from friends and family on the various styles she had. My friends loved my hair; they loved how soft it was and would braid parts of it at recess.
HannahMaria attended predominantly white private schools growing up, and there were only two to three Black girls in her class. She often felt like she didn’t fit in when she wore her natural hair down to school. Her crown is beautiful and thick, but it always attracts unwanted attention from her peers. They would stare and touch her hair, which made her feel uncomfortable.
Section 2: The Journey Begins
HannahMaria has been rocking her natural hair since day one. In the fifth grade, she started styling her own hair and learned how to care for her curls independently. Her mother inspired HannahMaria’s hair journey. HannahMaria’s mother always rocked a full head of healthy curls and taught HannahMaria how to keep her hair healthy. She never saw her mom wear wigs, get perms, or relax her hair. That taught HannahMaria that her hair was manageable and suitable for all occasions.
Section 3: Confidence, Identity & Healing
HannahMaria’s hair journey has given her confidence and self-security. She learned that her uniqueness is a superpower, not a flaw. Her hair has made her feel powerful and proud because she now understands how to maintain and care for it without feeling like she has to have it perfectly done for every occasion. Even on her “bad hair days” when she isn't happy with how her hair looks, she knows it is beautiful no matter what. She always reminds herself that her hair is gorgeous in every state.
Section 4: Hair Care & Routine
HannahMaria washes and deep conditions her hair once a week. She uses Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla shampoo and the Not Your Mother’s conditioner. Additionally, she sometimes uses Head & Shoulders Shampoo, which is effective for dandruff and itchy scalps. (You can use it by itself because it is a shampoo and a conditioner all in one!) To style, she uses the Kinky-Curly Hair Care leave-in conditioner and detangler, Douc Banana Gel, and Deux Texture Foam. Using this routine, her hair lasts until the next wash day!
Section 5: Community & Culture
One discriminatory comment that HannahMaria experienced occurred in her fifth-grade Social Studies class when her teacher told her to put her hair up because it was distracting the class. At that time, like many of us, she did not understand that she had just experienced a microaggression. She learned that her hair is never the problem.
HannahMaria navigates her curiosity about her hair by taking the time to educate those who are curious. She handles criticism by explaining why what was said was inappropriate or offensive. She uses compliments as a reminder that she is beautiful.
TikTok has a significant influence on her hair choices. Thanks to TikTok, she discovered the Bounce Curl brush, which helps her achieve definition. She also uses TikTok to experiment with different protective hairstyles.
HannahMaria’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
1. Use products based on your hair porosity, not hair type. Knowing your hair porosity enables you to select products that will effectively moisturize your hair.
2. GET RID OF THE DEAD ENDS! It's challenging to get a trim, but it's essential to remove dead ends to maintain your hair's health.
Jenny Hemani
Hair & Early Memories
From a young age, Jenny Hemani remembers her family always telling her that she had to “take care” of her hair and “make sure [her hair] is done.” She also experienced her non-black friends asking why she only wore braids and not any other style. In the fifth grade, Jenny remembers many other black girls who rocked different styles, such as long, colorful box braids or silky straight hair. While her mother always styled her hair the same, in black medium-sized box braids, she sometimes added beads to the ends.
The Journey Begins
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Jenny had a lot of free time to experiment with various hairstyles, including puffs, Bantu knots, and mini twists. She watched many online videos that made her feel confident in her styling abilities and excited to try out new looks.
Confidence, Identity & Healing
Jenny feels that the way her hair looks will affect how people perceive her. There is a lot of pressure in the black community to always have their hair done, or they are considered unattractive. Whenever Jenny gets a new style that she is a little unsure about, and it turns out better than she expected, she feels happy because she was able to step out of her comfort zone. She feels a sense of pride and joy when she receives a new hairstyle, as it marks a new chapter in her life. She has learned that her hair is not the problem; what matters is how she feels about it. When she takes more risks and styles her hair as she likes, rather than how others prefer, her hair feels and looks healthier as a result.
Haircare & Routine
Jenny learned that her hair has better results when she uses less product. She likes to use African Pride Curling Cream to define her curls, Jamaican Castor Oil, Blue Magic Coconut Oil, and Shea Moisture to help strengthen her hair. For her edges, she uses Edge Fixer and Xtreme gel. She washes her hair every four weeks and uses African Pride, Camille Rose, and Tresemme.
Community & Culture
Jenny has received indirect comments about her hair, such as “When are you getting your hair done?” or “Were you in a rush?” At her old job, [Someone] told her that her hairstyle (soft locs) was “too big” and wouldn’t fit in a hairnet (which it did). She rarely receives criticism, but when she does, she brushes it off, as it can be exhausting to explain the significance of her hair constantly. She is not someone who answers big, in-depth questions, especially when they come from someone who isn’t black, because it can be hard for them to put it in perspective. However, she doesn’t mind simple questions like, “How long did it take to get your hair done?” Or, “What’s the name of your hairstyle?” Jenny’s biggest influences are black YouTubers who create hair tutorials, ’90s sitcoms like Moesha and Girlfriends, black Disney stars like Raven-Symone and Coco Jones, and other black women in her life who have helped her gain confidence when it comes to her hair.
Jenny’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Your hair doesn’t define you; it’s just one of the many ways you express yourself, so don’t overthink it.
