More Hair Tales: Real Hair Stories by Real Women
Kinara Phillips
Early Memories
Kinara Phillips reflects back on that one time, while practicing with the youth choir at church. Some of the girls commented that she had 'good hair,' that it was like the hair of white people. She didn't think that was the case and was slightly offended by the comment. But she knows they meant it as a compliment. She never really felt pressure to change her hair growing up, mainly because her mother always told her how beautiful her hair was in its natural state.
Eventually, she decided to cut it for convenience and style. She started dyeing her hair in high school because she thought it looked cool. She predominantly wears her natural curls, except for occasional braids or blowouts.
The Journey Begins
Kinara has always embraced my natural curls. Her hair journey mainly focused on length and color. When she was in high school, she wanted a different look, so she went for shorter hair with red highlights. That look evolved from red highlights to brown, and from a faux hawk to a bob. She loves the shape and style of her hair. The color is beautiful and the shape fits her perfectly.
Confidence, Identity, and Healing
Kinara uses her hair to explore her creativity. Changing the color and shape of her curls is fun and exciting. Hair is just hair, it's incredible, and versatile. She has gained pride in who she is and where she comes from. Her hair does reflect that; there are tighter and looser curls that represent her different ancestors. Her hair is an expression of her personal family history and creativity.
Hair Care & Routine
Kinara's hair routine consists of first wetting her hair in the shower, sometimes applying conditioner, and then combing it out. Then she applies some leave-in cream and twists it before putting on a bonnet and going to bed. She does this around once a week, and the curls will last as long as she has a bonnet or satin pillowcase to sleep with.
Community & Culture
Kinara has experienced people touching her hair without permission, but most of the comments and experiences she faces are positive. Sometimes she will engage people in conversations about my hair, mostly to explain that the curls are natural. It sometimes gets exhausting having to explain the same thing about her hair repeatedly. Kinara doesn't have many influences when it comes to styling her hair. Kinara hopes to continue trying new things with her hair.
Kinara's Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Whatever you do, your hair doesn't define you; it's merely a tool to explore your creativity.
Madison O’Shields
Early Memories
Growing up, Madison O’Shields’s family would always encourage her to embrace her hair. Their encouraging words made her feel confident and proud of the variety of her hairstyles.
Madison never felt pressured to change her hair to fit in, thanks to her family’s words of encouragement. She was comfortable with her hair, and she enjoyed the way it looked.
The Journey Begins
Madison became a “straight natural” around the 4th or 5th grade. She also enjoyed getting knotless braids from time to time.
Madison’s mother and aunts inspired her current hairstyle. Becoming a “straight natural” provided a hair routine that was more convenient for her busy family.
Confidence, Identity & Healing
Madison’s current hair routine makes her feel confident about her appearance. When she walks outside, knowing she cares for her hair makes her feel good about herself.
Madison’s hair, which can be styled in a variety of ways and textures, makes her feel proud of her hair type and heritage. The versatility of black hair is so beautiful to her. Our culture offers such a diverse and creative range of gorgeous hairstyles. Caring for her hair is a form of self-love for Maddie. Taking the time out to get her hair done is a special activity and privilege for her. When she gets her hair done, she can relax and feel pampered. Having this time provides her with a distinction from her usually hectic schedule.
Hair Care & Routine
Madison goes to a salon to wash and straighten her hair every two weeks. Her hair is still natural, so she is still able to enjoy her natural hair texture from time to time. She also occasionally gets knotless braids in different styles and sizes.
Community & Culture
Madison has been surrounded by very supportive and understanding people regarding her hair. She is surrounded by uplifting energy and comments that help her cancel out negative feelings about her hair. When someone approaches Madison with questions about her hair, she understands that the person asking the question is usually coming from a place of genuine curiosity. She gives them a sincere and honest answer so she can help them learn more about her hair. When she receives compliments on her hair, she always makes sure to offer her gratitude.
Madison’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Do what’s going to make you feel most confident and comfortable. Don’t follow what trends may be telling you to do. Also, have fun with your hair along the way!
Caitlyn H.
Early Memories
Growing up, Caitlyn H. didn’t think much about her hair until middle school, when she started wearing more twists and other protective styles, allowing her to go two weeks without touching it.
Caitlyn felt pressured by her mother to change her hair. When choosing a hairstyle, her mother would persistently persuade her to opt for a style that was “neat” or “professional.” It took her a while, but she eventually found her voice within herself to tell her mother that the style she wanted was the style she wanted to have.
The Journey Begins
Caitlyn started embracing her natural hair in high school. She loves unconventional aesthetics and eclectic styles in fashion and beauty. Many of her peers had their hair straightened and worn in a ponytail, or had it professionally styled. She wanted to stand out and be unique. She loved her hair, and despite it being hard to manage at times, she wanted to flaunt it!
Caitlyn has just begun her hair journey. She has started testing out different products and hasn’t had any problems doing her hair.
Confidence, Identity & Healing
Caitlyn, like many girls, once wished that she had longer hair. It would frustrate her how short her hair was, and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't find a product to help it grow. However, as time went on, she started to embrace her hair for what it was. She doesn’t care anymore that it’s not as long or thick as the rest of her peers. As long as it's healthy, she doesn't care about the length.
This year, Caitlyn has begun to take pride in and appreciate her hair. Knowing she can do anything she wants to her hair makes her feel validated. It encourages her to remind herself that her hair is her identity and truth.
Self-care is self-love. It’s all about taking time for yourself. On wash days, she sets aside at least two hours for her routine. Even now, she is still learning to love and care for herself, a journey that she is currently on.
Hair Care & Routine
Caitlyn washes her hair every two to three weeks. After it’s washed, she washes, dries, and then styles it. One time, she has her hair in a protective style, such as braids or twists, to let it grow on its own; the other time, she will wear a blow-dried ponytail or a slicked-back bun to let her hair grow. That way, her hair won't be pulled all the time in braids.
Community & Culture
Caitlyn has never been discriminated against for her hair, but she did receive comments on her hair from her mother. Her mother has been working in Corporate America for over 30 years. She has seen the side-eyes and the awkward silences that followed her as one of the only black women in the room. Black women have been conditioned to dress and look a certain way. These same types of views have been passed down to Caitlyn from her mom: “You’re not supposed to draw attention to yourself.” “You’re supposed to follow the guidelines and stick to a routine that makes everybody else comfortable.”
But that’s not Caitlyn.
Comments about her hair used to make Caitlyn doubt her identity and sense of self. It made her question if she was “too much,” or putting in enough effort to please her mother. Now she ignores her mother’s comments on her hair. Her mother came from a time when protecting and fighting for what you believed in would result in violence and hate. We have transitioned into a time where a protest could be a simple change of appearance or just ignoring hateful words.
Caitlyn gets a lot of her hair inspiration from eclectic and weird artists, creators, and awareness months. Awareness months inspire her because they are part of the real world. They are surrounded by things that are put in place to make society function as one.
Caitlyn’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Just be you; hair is one of the many things that speaks to who we are as individuals, how we navigate the world, and how we interact with others. Like words, hair is a statement. We must honor that and use it to show people that they should value themselves as well.
Sa’naa
Early Memories
Growing up, Sa’naa was surrounded mainly by positivity regarding her natural hair; she always had it styled—usually in cute styles popular among kids, such as two braided pigtails with beads and barrettes.
Sa’naa felt a little pressured to wear her hair a certain way when she was younger. She wanted to wear her natural hair out more often, but her mother and grandmother both worked a lot, so the easiest and most manageable option was keeping it in braids.
The Journey Begins
In middle school, Sa’naa began experimenting with styles like a slicked-back ponytail or the “show-stopping puff.” She wore simple, natural styles.
Reading and reflecting on history, Sa’naa learned how enslaved people used braids to map escape routes, and that deeply resonated with her. It made her realize her hair was a symbol. Recently, she has started to see her hair as a crown, even when it's braided or worn under a wig; the hair attached to her scalp is sacred to her.
Confidence, Identity & Healing
Sa’naa’s hair journey has been a rollercoaster. She has been easily influenced to dye or manipulate my hair, and when that leads to damage, it sets back her growth and confidence. But she is still learning, like many women.
When Sa’naa wears her natural curls—especially recently—she gets so many compliments on her 4A curl pattern! It makes her feel seen and appreciated for something that’s authentically hers.
Sa’naa values self-care and cares not only for her hair but also for her skin, nails, etc. She used to hide her natural hair, thinking it wasn’t “professional” or didn’t match the “Instagram baddie” standard. Now she’s realizing loving myself means loving my real hair too.
Hair Care & Routine
Sa’naa pre-shampoos and detangles her hair first, then she shampoos, conditions, and detangles again. After that, I deep condition. She aims to do this whole routine at least two to three times a month, depending on her current hairstyle.
Community & Culture
Sa’naa appreciates receiving compliments. She mainly receives positive support for her natural curls or when she experiments with different hair colors. She hasn’t received much criticism, just occasional curiosity.
A variety of people influence how she styles and cares for her hair. She follows hair influencers on social media, draws inspiration from Black history, and receives support from the women in her family.
Sa’naa’s Words of Wisdom for Those Who Are Starting Their Hair Journeys
Start your hair journey now, don’t wait until you think your hair is “ready” or “good enough.” Wear it proudly. It’s yours—and it’s beautiful.
